I don’t like sharing food. Yes, I am that person who prays to the heavens people will refuse me when I offer them anything. Now, before you all start with all that judgment, hear me when I say that I would do anything, so that every single person on this planet can have a proper meal every day. I understand how lucky I am to be able to run downstairs to the kitchen, and have a snack before dinner or just binge eat some chocolate while watching TV.
When I say I don’t like sharing food, I am specifically talking about those moments where you’re about to take a bite into that mouth watering piece of chocolate cake, and someone makes a comment along the lines of “oh wow, that looks delicious.”
“YES I KNOW LINDA, OF COURSE IT LOOKS DELICIOUS, YOU DON’T NEED TO STATE THE OBVIOUS GOSH!”
Like honestly, now with the fork midway to my mouth, I have to make that heart wrenching move of putting the piece of cake down, and ask my dear co-worker if she would like some. I do it because my mother raised me right, but you have no idea how much it hurts. I have always disliked this part about myself, especially when I see my friends so willing to share their snacks at school, and even more when my mom can easily say no to dessert, so I that I may have it.
As I ask that unbelievably difficult question, my mind is screaming to the beings above, that if they exist, they will use their power to ensure that Linda’s next words are a solid “No, thank you!”
Sometimes, it works out in my favour, and I go back to my hot and sexy date with my cake, but most times, I am forced to commit the horrible crime of dividing my food in half. Now psychologically, I am forced to think this piece of cake is not enough for me, therefore making the horrible decision to eat something else. After all of the eating is done, I sit there with regret, as I realize how many unhealthy calories have been consumed in the past 5 minutes, all because of my friend Linda.
So, yes I don’t like sharing food, but I do it anyways, because I am a good person, although my feelings towards Linda may say something else (I actually don’t know anyone named Linda btw, but you guys get the point right?!) Additionally, to keep justifying myself, I like to point out that I never ask someone else for their food, only if they offer, and even then I say no, so in your face, my guilty conscience!
In conclusion, every person has one or two things they don’t like sharing, mine just happens to be a basic necessity to human existence. If anyone would like to ever share in my constant cycle of going from a happy, motivated individual, to the depressed and socially anxious devil’s child, I am more than willing to give you a taste! Until next time…
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